Author: Andrew Chapman

Harry Potter and the Viscera of Kittens

Back in July 2007, the author Will Self appeared on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme grumbling about what he termed the “cardboard” writing of J.K.Rowling and how adults shouldn’t read it.

As a result I was bizarrely motivated to write a parody of Rowling in the style of Self (notorious for his pleonastic writing style), and then record it in my own imitation of his drawl. I sent it in to the show. (Ironically I actually prefer his writing to hers, but there we are.)

Here is Today’s introduction and excerpt of my brief tale, ‘Harry Potter and the Viscera of Kittens’, and here is the full version I recorded. Just in case you like this sort of nonsense. (Both MP3 files.)

Posted on by Andrew Chapman

Pictures of the way ahead

In December 2020, I started documenting my walks with photographs themed around scenes of paths of many kinds receding into the distance ahead of me. I pursued this every day for 100 days or so, and it was a helpful, mindful practice during Covid lockdown restrictions, although I continued it on and off thereafter until February 2023. Here’s the complete set archived from original posts tagged #thewayahead at Twitter/X (which I have now left). (See also #fingerpostfriday.)

  • 8 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 9 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 10 Dec 20

    #thewayahead (under scrutiny)

  • 11 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 12 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 13 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 15 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 16 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 17 Dec 20

    #thewayahead #hookland

  • 18 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 19 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 20 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 21 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 22 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 23 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 24 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 25 Dec 20

    #thewayahead In our family we call this the Britain tree from its vague Albion form. Sadly Kent snapped off a few months ago in a storm. Prescient? But if you look closely you can see #Hookland. Merry Yule, all.

  • 26 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 27 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 28 Dec 20

    #thewayahead #winterbourne (Confession: I abandoned this way ahead and walked two extra miles to avoid it…)

  • 29 Dec 20

    #thewayahead

  • 30 Dec 20

    #thewayahead Today’s choice was between arty shots of icy puddles, or this, which has mysteriously sprouted in the last few days. Obvious winner.

  • 31 Dec 20

    #thewayahead It’s said the poet Thomas Bridewell loped through these woods to #Hookland in a fugue state. His journal entries are fragmentary, elusive, but I can see which way he went.

  • 1 Jan 21

    #thewayahead An old soldier, standing steadfast while humans come and go down the ages.

  • 2 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 3 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 4 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 5 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 6 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 7 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 8 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 9 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 10 Jan 21

    A lost sole on #thewayahead

  • 11 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 12 Jan 21

    Keeping watch over #thewayahead

  • 13 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 14 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 15 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 16 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 17 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 18 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 19 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 20 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 21 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 22 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 23 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 24 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 24 Jan 21

    @SlowWaysUK @nsummers1234 Oxfordshire Cotswolds (see #thewayahead)

  • 25 Jan 21

    #thewayahead #snowways

  • 27 Jan 21

    “In my laudanum-tinctured fever it seemed as if the very trees reached out to grasp me.” – Thomas Bridewell, Journal #thewayahead #hookland

  • 28 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 30 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 31 Jan 21

    #thewayahead

  • 1 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 2 Feb 21

    #thewayahead – snowdrops for #Candlemas and #Imbolc

  • 3 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 4 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 5 Feb 21

    Well quite. #thewayahead

  • 6 Feb 21

    Lost and bewildered at the Round Castle earthwork, Thomas Bridewell wrote in his journal of the moss men, but this has always been attributed to his condition. #thewayahead @HooklandGuide

  • 6 Feb 21

    Some of us bite. #thewayahead

  • 7 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 8 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 9 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 10 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 11 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 12 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 13 Feb 21

    #thewayahead Icy path snaking forth, as though we’re in the wake of Andy Goldsworthy.

  • 14 Feb 21

    #thewayahead – oh, and #thewayback and #thewayover, etc

  • 15 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 16 Feb 21

    #thewayahead (a Covid ‘priority postbox’ serving four rural houses and which is too small for the test boxes anyway!)

  • 17 Feb 21

    Signs of hope on #thewayahead

  • 18 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 19 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 20 Feb 21

    #thewayahead Last of the hipsters?

  • 21 Feb 21

    #thewayahead #theneighahead

  • 22 Feb 21

    #thewayahead #cryptozoology

  • 23 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 24 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 25 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 26 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 27 Feb 21

    #thewayahead 6-mile maiden voyage for new boots. Happy face.

  • 28 Feb 21

    #thewayahead

  • 1 Mar 21

    #thewayahead

  • 2 Mar 21

    #thewayahead

  • 3 Mar 21

    #thewayahead

  • 4 Mar 21

    #thewayahead

  • 5 Mar 21

    #thewayahead

  • 6 Mar 21

    #thewayahead

  • 7 Mar 21

    #thewayahead Squint and you could be on Easter Island…

  • 8 Mar 21

    #thewayahead

  • 9 Mar 21

    #thewayahead

  • 10 Mar 21

    So today is my 100th #thewayahead picture in a row (and the first time I’ve cheated by not using a picture taken on the same day). I’m going to stop this now, and just post more interesting shots occasionally. 1/3

  • 13 Mar 21

    #thewayahead … but which one?

  • 18 Mar 21

    #thewayahead

  • 25 Mar 21

    After 10 years here there’s only one footpath within 3 miles that I’ve never been on (largely because it involves a busy B road at one end). Achievement unlocked. #thewayahead

  • 28 Mar 21

    #thewayahead

  • 6 Apr 21

    #thewayahead

  • 11 Apr 21

    #thewayahead

  • 12 Apr 21

    #thewayahead on 12th April?!

  • 15 Apr 21

    “An ancient, hungry king beneath the tump, his maw enarboured” – Thomas Bridewell, ‘Anthropophage’, 1874. #FolkloreThursday #thewayahead #hookland

  • 16 Apr 21

    #thewayahead

  • 23 Apr 21

    #thewayahead – today marks my 400th consecutive daily walk (min. 3 miles, max. 25 miles, ave. 5.8 miles)

  • 27 Apr 21

    Somebody may be hopping on #thewayahead

  • 30 Apr 21

    Now *this* is someone who knows about #thewayahead – Why I’m running 5,000 miles around the coast of Britain solo theguardian.com/travel/2021/ap…

  • 2 May 21

    #thewayahead

  • 15 May 21

    #thewayahead

  • 25 May 21

    #thewayahead

  • 29 Jun 21

    We’re hitting Peak Green on #thewayahead

  • 13 Jul 21

    #thewayahead #slowways

  • 24 Jul 21

    #thewayahead

  • 1 Aug 21

    I was walking regularly anyway but lockdowns etc focused me on consistency. Today is Day 500. (Rule is bare minimum of 3 miles but average is about 5.5.) Now what? #thewayahead

  • 2 Aug 21

    #thewayahead

  • 9 Aug 21

    #thewayahead

  • 13 Aug 21

    #thewayahead

  • 13 Aug 21

    This amazing place is one of the two quarries in Wales where the bluestones of #Stonehenge came from. #thewayahead

  • 19 Aug 21

    #thewayahead

  • 20 Aug 21

    #thewayahead

  • 31 Aug 21

    #thewayahead #thewaybehind

  • 11 Sep 21

    #thewayahead

  • 15 Nov 21

    #thewayahead

  • 16 Nov 21

    #thewayahead ?

  • 20 Nov 21

    #thewayahead

  • 21 Nov 21

    Might not be on #thewayahead much longer – both kids have Covid…

  • 26 Nov 21

    #thewayahead Have just walked a mile up and down this corridor (self-isolating), accompanied by @jonronson’s excellent Things Fell Apart

  • 2 Dec 21

    Out of isolation, battered but active, and back on #thewayahead

  • 18 Jan 22

    #thewayahead

  • 28 Jan 22

    One of today’s signs on #thewayahead – one for @nickhayesillus1 and @guyshrubsole – whatever a ‘sunbath’ is.

  • 22 Feb 22

    Glad my old friend is still here on #thewayahead

  • 29 Mar 22

    Moss on #thewayahead

  • 2 Apr 22

    Ah, the colours of spring on #thewayahead

  • 3 Apr 22

    The what?! #thewayahead

  • 10 Apr 22

    #thewayahead

  • 11 Apr 22

    #thewayahead

  • 13 Apr 22

    Bathtime on #thewayahead

  • 14 Apr 22

    Giving #thewayahead some welly.

  • 15 Apr 22

    Early Netflix? #thewayahead

  • 19 Apr 22

    Gulp. #thewayahead

  • 6 May 22

    Folk horror on #thewayahead? Or perhaps a slip into #hookland.

  • 27 May 22

    Choices for #fingerpostfriday @FingerpostFri on #thewayahead

  • 30 May 22

    #thewayahead

  • 7 Jun 22

    Bee. Cranesbill. #thewayahead

  • 7 Jun 22

    Papaverousness on #thewayahead

  • 13 Jun 22

    Oh yes. #thewayahead

  • 5 Jul 22

    Small skipper and scabious on #thewayahead

  • 10 Aug 22

    Glowing tunnel on #thewayahead

  • 10 Aug 22

    Night walk, railway, harvest moon. #thewayahead

  • 12 Aug 22

    Choices on #thewayahead for #FingerpostFriday

  • 26 Aug 22

    Enough ways for you on #thewayahead? #fingerpostfriday

  • 29 Aug 22

    #thewayahead

  • 30 Aug 22

    Gulp. #thewayahead

  • 2 Sep 22

    I’m not sure this is strictly canonical for #fingerpostfriday but it unambiguously shows #thewayahead…

  • 16 Sep 22

    A sunny face on #thewayahead

  • 7 Oct 22

    Happy #fingerpostfriday 🥾 #thewayahead

  • 14 Nov 22

    An atmospheric start to #thewayahead today.

  • 17 Nov 22

    Gotta love autumn on #thewayahead

  • 8 Dec 22

    The tree’s embrace on #thewayahead

  • 15 Dec 22

    A cheeky -8.6° on #thewayahead today.

  • 1 Jan 23

    The zigzag of 2023 on #thewayahead

  • 27 Feb 23

    A guiding hand on #thewayahead

Posted on by Andrew Chapman

A collection of #fingerpostfridays

I’ve stopped using Twitter/X now (as of September 2023) in favour of writing here instead. But one of the things I enjoyed most at the site was the gentle world of #fingerpostfriday run by Hayley Howard. Here is an archive of my contributions to the trend, between May 2022 and August 2023, which also serves as a reminder, to me at least, of some of my many walks in that period and the joys of the British landscape.

  • 6 May 22

    One from a couple of weeks ago for #fingerpostfriday

  • 6 May 22

    OK, permit me a repost now that I know about @FingerpostFri #fingerpostfriday – but this time without the feeble Netflix gag.

  • 20 May 22

    1. So my new thing here is the #10tweetadventure – exploring corners of history or landscape, but told in no more than 10 tweets. Today, for @FingerpostFri #FingerpostFriday, let’s start with the source of the River Thames. Except… it isn’t.

  • 27 May 22

    Choices for #fingerpostfriday @FingerpostFri on #thewayahead

  • 17 Jun 22

    Something from this week for #fingerpostfriday

  • 5 Aug 22

    And speaking of #FingerpostFriday …

  • 12 Aug 22

    Choices on #thewayahead for #FingerpostFriday

  • 26 Aug 22

    Enough ways for you on #thewayahead? #fingerpostfriday

  • 2 Sep 22

    I’m not sure this is strictly canonical for #fingerpostfriday but it unambiguously shows #thewayahead…

  • 2 Sep 22

    Here’s a more canonical #fingerpostfriday entry from this week’s walking.

  • 9 Sep 22

    Take your pick for #fingerpostfriday

  • 16 Sep 22

    Something for #fingerpostfriday – and my latest newsletter is about the place where you can find them… gethistories.com/p/most-secret-…

  • 23 Sep 22

    For #fingerpostfriday, this is always a welcome sight on a walk I do most weeks.

  • 7 Oct 22

    Happy #fingerpostfriday 🥾 #thewayahead

  • 28 Oct 22

    Another week, another county, another walk, another #fingerpostfriday

  • 25 Nov 22

    Back with an old friend for #fingerpostfriday

  • 9 Dec 22

    Is it too late for #fingerpostfriday?

  • 16 Dec 22

    Wait, what? A round trip for #fingerpostfriday @FingerpostFri

  • 30 Dec 22

    A bit wadey this #FingerpostFriday

  • 6 Jan 23

    Land vs water. #fingerpostfriday

  • 20 Jan 23

    Twas a crisp morning walk for #fingerpostfriday today.

  • 27 Jan 23

    Happy birthday to @FingerpostFri #fingerpostfriday

  • 10 Feb 23

    RT @richardf: So, for #FingerpostFriday, here’s (I think) Britain’s first European walking route sign. Installed yesterday in Charlbury. Tu…

  • 24 Feb 23

    Something for everyone on #fingerpostfriday

  • 10 Mar 23

    Am I allowed the oldest kind of waymarker for #fingerpostfriday?

  • 24 Mar 23

    Decisions, decisions for #fingerpostfriday

  • 28 Apr 23

    It’s #fingerpostfriday – you can go that way, or that way. Or somewhere else.

  • 5 May 23

    It’s #fingerpostfriday – unless you’re a horse.

  • 12 May 23

    There are always choices on #fingerpostfriday

  • 19 May 23

    And here’s the confluence of #fingerpostfriday and #dunstanday twitter.com/chapmanbookman…

  • 26 May 23

    This way? #fingerpostfriday

  • 9 Jun 23

    HOW MUCH?! #fingerpostfriday

  • 16 Jun 23

    A disconcerting #fingerpostfriday

  • 30 Jun 23

    A slightly more serious note for #fingerpostfriday this week. This wonderful path runs through a local ancient woodland. (1/4)

  • 4 Aug 23

    Where now? Who cares, it’s beautiful. #fingerpostfriday

  • 25 Aug 23

    Keep thinking of leaving Twitter but then #fingerpostfriday brings me back…

Posted on by Andrew Chapman

In the footsteps of Celia Fiennes in York

This little photo story was originally published as a Twitter thread in June 2023.

So in 1697, Celia Fiennes arrived solo in York on horseback as part of her unique tour of England. I followed in her footsteps around York Minster today. Join us! Words by Celia, pictures by me. #yorkminster #10tweetadventure

“The Minster is very large and fine of stone, carv’d all the outside 3 high towers above the Leads”

“I was in one of them, the highest, and it was 262 steps and those very steep steps” [the Minster says 275 and I made it 281!]

“On the Leads of the tower shews a vast prospect of the Country at least 30 mile round, you see all over the town that looks as a building too much cluster’d together, the Streets being so narrow, some were pretty long.”